November 19, 2009
Being a Sharp Dressed Man
So you’ve finally mustered up the courage to ask that girl or guy out on a date and you want to give a good impression, so what do you wear?
This was a dilemma that I recently faced as my wardrobe consists of a variety of jeans in various states of abuse, a collection of Rip Curl t-shirts and some almost worn out Vans Shoes trainers. I have a couple of crumpled old shirts, last worn for a funeral and job interview, a suit that was out of fashion when I bought it second-hand ten years ago and a pair of over-sized wellington boots that were won in a raffle. So I was in a dilemma. Should I go clothes shopping, which I hate, or could I borrow something suitable from a friend?
I called in on a good friend who suggested that I borrow some of his designer clothes, which I thought would be a great idea. The problem was that I am a small man and he is huge. All of his excellent, expensive designer clothes were simply far too big. I looked like a kid playing dress-up in his dads clothes, so that was a no no. I decided to call on another friend who is closer to my size.
My good old friend Kenny is about my size and owns a huge collection of clothes. The problem is that Kenny, a flamboyant gay, has a taste for exceptionally garish colors that look like high visibility safety clothing. He suggested that I wear a pair of his skin tight, bright green stretch trousers along with a bright orange t-shirt emblazoned with the slogan ‘Hello Big Boy’. I didn’t think that this would create the impression I was aiming for so I asked if he had anything else.
Kenny told me he had just the thing. A white, all in one jump suit adorned with rhinestones and sequins. I asked Kenny if he was really serious and he told me that this was his lucky suit. I tried it on but it made me look like an Elvis impersonator so this was another non-starter.
Then Kenny showed me another selection of clothes that he described as boring impulse buys that he had never actually worn. When I looked in the wardrobe I could see that there were some nice looking clothes, unlike the garish, brightly colored skin tight items that he had proposed. He had a collection of Nike ACG jackets that he had never worn because they were, in his words, too boring. There was a heap of jeans from Levis, Diesel and other excellent brands and a whole load of shirts, some quite loud, but several that I would happily be seen in.
So my good buddy Kenny really helped me out with a nice outfit that really impressed my date and resulted in her coming home with me, but that is another story. I’ve since bought myself some new clothes and treated Kenny to another tasteless tight fluorescent t-shirt in thanks for lending me the winning combo.
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Family, Children and Backpacking Destinations
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